What do you believe is a good apology? Or: what makes an apology meaningful? As a counsellor and mediator, I spend a lot of time helping people navigate hurt, disappointment and conflict. Unresolved conflict is one of the most common barriers to connection. When...
After erosion comes a choice. Not a dramatic, yet a significant moment where one decides to call out the rupture or disconnect. To go first. To try again instead of pulling or pushing away. Most couples, when things get hard, start questioning compatibility. Are we...
There’s rarely a big moment when a relationship stops feeling safe (although sometimes there is). Usually it just sneaks in. A hesitation before you say something.A joke that lands a bit wrong.You decide something is ‘not worth bringing up’.A sharper tone. Nothing...
Last time, I wrote about safety not being something you earn — but something that allows growth, repair and connection to happen. So how does safety actually grow?Not in theory or in perfect conditions, but in ordinary, everyday relationships. Safety...
After the last email (this is the 6th of a series), I found myself thinking about how often people believe safety is something you get to or arrive at — once you’ve done enough work, understood enough, healed enough. As if safety is the reward at the end. In reality,...
